leadHERship Coaching

Create Bigger & Better Balls

2011-12-07T14:11:00.003-05:00

One thing that has been sidelined since the economic crisis of 2008 is limited encouragement for our enormous creative talent to innovate, invent and create. Oh sure, people are working harder, longer with more output. But are we keeping the ball rolling or are we creating bigger and better balls? I fear we are merely keeping the balls rolling.

Not a bad thing at all. It’s just not a growth model for organizations or people.

I love the article Courage in the C-Suite in the December issue of the Harvard Business Review. The author Rosabeth Moss Kanter writes that what we’re missing is courage. “Doing nothing seems easy. It’s often an invisible mistake—a sin of omission rather than commission. To act requires courage.” Many organizations have become accustomed to not hiring, maintaining the status quo as a response to not having any idea how to navigate the seismic change that has occurred since the onset of the economic crisis. The effect on their people is a culture where everyone’s preserving balance, not rocking the boat and keeping all those balls rolling.

But you can only go for so long maintaining. Eventually you have to move ahead, grow, try new things in order to remain relevant and vital. This goes for people and organizations.

This is where Ms. Kanter’s article is right on. It is going to take thousands of acts of courage from all levels of the organization to restart growth.

How do you step out when you’re relieved to have a job? How do you act courageously when you’re worried and insecure?

You do not answer this call to action by going off half-cocked because courage doesn’t imply blindly acting. Instead what it means is assessing how you are staying safe. Then challenge your self to seek ways you could add value by solving a problem in an out-of-the-box way. Envision some way the company or organization could move forward, the business could grow, a system could be changed to improve productivity – you get the idea. Then do the due diligence necessary to insure the risks are well informed, get by in from mentors and bosses and test market your idea with colleagues.

Finally act courageously, step out there and create bigger & better balls.

Achieving Presence: An Easy Exercise With Powerful Results

2011-11-15T15:10:00.007-05:00

We’re constantly hearing about how important it is for a leader to be present. I think this is because of the power of possibility when leaders are present: they can respond, shape and engage with what’s going on rather than missing things as they happen.

And these are exactly the same reasons for any of us to practice presence. According to Peter Senge, author of The Power of Presence, when we are present, "We shift from repeating past patterns and mistakes to transforming the emerging future."

This is what a client wrote to me this week:

“Following up on our last discussion, I've been practicing trying to be present. The thing that surprises me most is that I actually see more of what's around me. It's a really strange sensation. As I'm concentrating on just seeing, not even really seeing specific detail, just taking in what's around me, I feel like my vision is clearer, that I have more peripheral vision, and that I'm taking in more information than at other times. It also makes clear how limited my vision is when I'm in my head.”

No way could I have said it any better!

We were working on what gets in the way of being present and what you can do to focus.

We all do things that make us drift out of the present moment. The three habits below, which most of us indulge in sometime, always end up taking us out of “here and now” and propel us to “there and then” thus killing our ability to be present.

1. Worry – is always about going forward into your future. You are busy trying to figure out how relationships or events are going to take place, what you’ll do, what others will do.

2. Regret – is always about the past. You wish you had said or done something differently. You get caught up in your head about something that already happened, wishing for a different outcome or other “what if” scenario.

3. Obsessing or Fantasizing – are characterized by replaying of actual or imagined, past or future events or relationships over and over. Like: yesterday’s team meeting, the conversation you had over breakfast, that upcoming dinner with your parents, or your best friend’s health scare; a day at the spa, a date, vacation or any other pleasant activity.

There is a simple exercise that can bring you right back to the present moment. And you can do it anywhere, at any time and in the snap of your fingers.

First of all, stop thinking about what you’re reading on this piece of paper. Next, take a deep breath, clear your head. Now look around you and notice the details of your external environment, no matter where you are and without judgment. Shift your focus to your surroundings – the sounds, visuals, and the scents – pay attention when you drift away, noticing the ways you do that from the above list. Pull yourself back by refocusing on your environment.

I’ll do it here: I'm sitting at my desk. I’m typing on my cordless keypad on my beautiful Apple desktop. Right below the screen is that famous black silhouette of the Apple Logo – Uh oh, I’m drifting, thinking about how sad I am that Steve Jobs is gone. I have to pull myself back. My black bookshelves right next to my desk look so good against the tomato orange of my walls. Across the room is my antique drop leaf table with that black and lime-green felted bowl I made. I should make more bowls. Ooops, I’m drifting again. I can hear the washer spinning, the traffic outside, and one of my dogs barking. I wonder if the mail came yet and whether that check arrived. Ooops, I catch myself from drifting again. I take a deep breath; feel the bones in my spine lengthen. I’m back. Right here at my desk, in my office and writing this blog post.

Now you try it. First do it right where you are at this moment. But later, tomorrow, next week try it again and again wherever you are and whatever you are doing where you want to be present. Begin to notice the increased percentage of time you are able to be present. I’m up to about 85%, maybe more. You have to practice this. And build off of and add to your success. You won’t just wish this and have it be.

The biggest rewards for me are: calmness, experiencing my life fully – the good and the bad – and my increased ability to create from what is (both what I want and what others bring), which is so much easier than imposing. I no longer reject life out of hand, or detach from it to get through it. I don’t have to use my energy to try controlling it, which it turns out I can’t succeed at anyhow. Instead I’m able to appreciate what’s right in front of me.

You, too can be engaged with your life, respond to it and shape it.

What benefits do you notice? How does it help you? What have you learned? What’s possible when you’re present? I would love to know how this exercise and practice worked out for you.

Women Watching Women On TV

2011-11-07T14:27:00.000-05:00

I have been talking with clients, friends and colleagues about how much I’ve been enjoying some of the new television shows because there are so many female characters I want to “know” populating some really good programs. It is exciting to view such female leadership on prime time television. Now, the cynic in me understands that women are holding more and more spending power so it follows that networks are catering to get those dollars. Still we’ve come a long way.

I can relate to Dana Delany’s Dr. Megan Hunt in “Body of Proof.” She’s a former neurosurgeon who was in a car accident because she could not keep up the pace of a high-powered medical career, motherhood and marriage going at the break-neck speed that is often required to maintain success for women. We meet her grappling with a step down to medical examiner, rebuilding her relationship with her adolescent daughter and working for her husband’s new girlfriend. This is no push over looser. This is a strong woman figuring out how to keep going when life hands her lemons.

And I love Kathy Bates as the lead character Harriet Korn in “Harry's Law.” Harry is a high-powered patent attorney with a six-figure salary. She becomes disillusioned by how she is required to practice the law. She ends up fired, which is where the series opens. She decides to rebuild her career as a 60-something post-menopausal woman who is passionate about the law’s intention of helping people in legal trouble to navigate the, often, labyrinthine system. She’s smart, in command, has a deep sense of responsibility to her clients, the letter of the law and her employees, as well as her community. Harry is a great example of a powerful woman trusting her gut and using it to inform critical decisions.

Finally, I would love Maria Bella with a bag over her head, which she fortunately does not wear as Detective Jane Timoney “formerly Tennison” in the prime-time network rework of the BBC drama “Prime Suspect.” Here Maria fills the very ample shoes of Helen Mirren in the role she made famous. For those of you who are not familiar with the series, Detective T is a homicide detective that is tough, confident and focused. She does not play by the rules, which in a man would be admirable but in a woman is viewed as inappropriate. Her colleagues say things that would land them with a black eye if they said them to a man. It turns out though, that at the end of the day Jane is a brilliant detective who slowly wins their reluctant approval. While I love this show, it is the hardest to watch. The cost to women for being brilliant, unapologetic and right is still way too high even 20 years after this show debuted. I guess for as far as we’ve come we’ve still got a long way to go!

1% Leadership

2011-11-02T15:01:00.006-04:00

I am so annoyed by Kim Kardashian’s announcement that her marriage is over because young girls all over the world hold her up as an example, someone who’s life you should want to have. They don’t realize Kim’s life – at least what we have access to – is a carefully crafted infomercial for her products. Instead they now think marriage is nothing more than a huge party, big diamond rings and a 72-day commitment.

Kim and her empire are perfect examples of what I call 1% leadership. 1% leadership is the kind of leadership that is designed to benefit only the leader. It is a corruption of leadership, which is a role demanding a strong moral compass, a dedication to a larger good and a vision of a future that is better for generations to come. None of which Kim is even trying to be.

As women we have to expect more from successful women. We have to expect them to make the world better no matter what business or calling they answer.

I have no problem with a gal making a living but please don’t use young women or ever consider yourself a role model when all you are is a 1% leader – out for only yourself! Let’s stop supporting the likes of Kim Kardashian.

How Occupy Wall Street Is Really Occupy Main Street

2011-10-11T12:34:00.001-04:00

You know, I love the Occupy Wall Street movement. I love it because it removes leadership from the top and democratizes it to the people that are affected by it. And while doing that it forces everyone to take responsibility for governing at least a little.

I was talking to a friend of mine this morning. She was telling me that one of the things that happens at the demonstration is that there are no loud speakers or other sound amplification systems to let the crowd hear what the speaker is saying. The crowd’s solution is to have the speaker give their talk line by line. With each line uttered the crowd repeats the line until everyone has heard. In this way the whole crowd is taking responsibility of conveying what the speaker is saying.

I love this. I mean, when is the last time you listened well enough to be able to repeat line by line what any speaker said?

They are also taking care of all sorts of other needs of the group collectively – like food, first aide and even security. "We are self-policing, so a city police presence is not needed," Steve Ross of West Kensington said. "Our security shuts down drug and alcohol activity, and does conflict resolution."
Wow! Imagine what a wonderful world we would have if we all took our own policing so seriously.

Imagine if Occupy Wall Street morphed into Occupy Main Street!

Victimized vs. Victimization

2011-06-20T14:44:00.028-04:00

Huma Abedin was most definitely victimized when her husband pushed the send button on his computer on multiple occasions. As was Hillary Clinton, Jenny Sanford, Silda Spitzer, Jackie or Marianne Gingrich, and many others when their husbands very publicly humiliated and betrayed them. As women we all sympathize with them. This is because most of us have felt the sting of betrayal or humiliation at some time, which can leave us spiraling down into a deep hole of victimization.

Learning the difference between – Victimized and Victimization – and especially understanding the control we have regarding how we wish to respond is critical to how we recover and move forward. When someone we have trusted and love betrays us we are filled with many conflicting emotions and can feel compelled to make knee-jerk changes. Measuring our choices against whether they empower us or further defeat us goes a long way toward our healing.

When someone acts to make a victim of us then we are victimized. When we take on the role of prolonged helplessness then we suffer from victimization. An easy way to think about the distinction is: Victimized is an act toward us. Victimization is a role we take on as a result of the act toward us. In the first we had no choice. In the second we do have choice.

In a great article that you should read called, Stop Calling Huma Abedin A Victim, published at CNN.com, Katia Hetter has made an excellent point regarding this distinction and put forth a couple helpful rules.

She outlines seven rules to live by:
1) Wait to make big decisions.
2) Focus on the present moment.
3) Create something now.
4) Give up on the dream.
5) Look for your truth.
6) Choose your own feelings.
7) Do not play the victim.

There is no doubt that the line is often blurry when we are fighting such terrible circumstances. And we can slip so easily into victimization. But if we are still, seek our own council and the council of those that love us we can choose a path toward strength. And as the saying goes, make lemonade out of lemons!

Women Leading the Way: Turn Set Backs Into Opportunities

2010-06-08T18:09:00.004-04:00

When women learn to step up as the leaders of their lives we are better able to switch from reacting to responding to life and work. We are better equipped to make more informed decisions and take responsibility for how things turn out. Acting as leaders we open up more options in our intimate relationships, concerning our finances and health, within our families and communities and of course, in our work and career.

Leadership is a way of being that we humans are born doing. We do it all the time from the moment we are born to the moment we die to get what we need. But true leadership is limited when it is practiced only in the best interests of the leader. As we grow and develop we must learn to lead so everyone is satisfied. It is similar to what an old sales acquaintance used to say, “No deal is a good deal unless everyone is happy.” It is the same with compelling leadership – our vision needs to satisfy everyone. A few of us lead naturally and better than others; most of us are not competent at it. But all of us are capable of learning and getting better at it.

Usually leadership is referred to as the activity we do when we are in charge or have a position, like when we are the president, manager, director, etc. This is leadership with designated authority. But true human leadership – the natural ability that humans are born with to see a future possibility and then go about influencing others toward that possibility – is something we must do all the time, everywhere, in personal and work settings. This perspective of leadership is gaining more and more popularity and is an especially important way that women need to approach leadership. But too few of us do!

Unfortunately what we often do instead of leading our life is surviving our life. While we are surviving we hope we’ll be rescued. We struggle through everything from adversity to the challenges of everyday existence. We work hard but often not smart. We pride our self on how well we managed to exist during difficult circumstances. And when we fail we make excuses. We are like a plant that grows under the harshest conditions, struggling up through parched, cracked earth. Does this sound familiar?

The alternative to surviving is thriving. When we function from a place of thriving, we don’t need to be rescued. Thriving is about vigor. It is about wealth, abundance and possibility. We don’t make excuses. Thriving means that when there are detours on life’s path instead of defeat we remain focused on our vision, adjusting and even changing particulars to realize it. Deciding to thrive in our life requires learning and practice. It means getting creative about how we approach situations and relationships. It is all about switching our approach from adapting to set backs and challenges to envisioning and brainstorming the opportunities the set backs and challenges offer. Leaders are continuously seizing opportunities adjusting the choices they make to changing circumstances.

The next time you run into a challenge or set back ask your self: What opportunity does this set back offer? How can I reach my goal given this new challenge? Is there a way to adjust my goals but end up even better?

Answer these questions seriously, write down options, and think through scenarios. Then keep moving. Be a leader of your life, thriving not merely surviving!

Be U’R Own Leadership Coach: #3 Stop Thinking “It’s Not My Job,” and Accept Responsibility

2010-06-07T13:05:00.007-04:00

Life Leadership is about accepting responsibility as we walk through our everyday life. It means when something needs doing you recognize it and take initiative to get it done. It means agreeing to take action as if it is your duty. When you accept responsibility for what goes on around you it does not mean you control everything that happens or other’s responses. What it does mean is that as things outside of your control happen you are in charge of how you respond and the choices you make about what you do.

Most of us realize that we must take responsibility for the important decisions of our life. But taking responsibility is not about big decisions only, it is about moment-to-moment choices you make – what you say in passing to your boyfriend or teammate, how you respond to a friend’s pain, the attitude you express when you’re tired, or bending over and picking up the apples that have tumbled all over the grocery store floor.

I was walking through the aisles of the produce section when a woman cut a corner around a pile of apples a little too closely. She did not notice as five or six apples come tumbling down, rolling across the floor. I watched as seven or eight people watched those apples roll to a stop, then turn away and continue shopping. Their attitude was, “it’s not my job.” I bent and began picking up the apples and was joined by a 20-something young man. We rolled our eyes and picked up the apples.

To me this is a moment when he and I accepted responsibility for those apples being on the floor. We did not think it was not our job or that someone else would come along and pick them up. We did not ignore them. I cannot speak for the young man but I was well aware that I wanted to pick up the apples to help the woman. That I wanted to make sure no one came along and fell. And because there was no staff in the immediate vicinity, it needed doing right then and there. It was not a big deal. It was hardly noticed. Yet in a small way we took responsibility and things were ever so different because of it.

You can make moves like this, too. You can affect things in small ways that improve, help or just satisfy you and your world. When’s the last time you accepted responsibility? How did it go?

How Do You Lead Your Life?

2010-06-03T19:18:00.012-04:00

Every one of us contributes to the shaping of our world. We make it – our world – every day through how we act and what we do. There are all sorts of ways we do this. We talk to people sharing our opinions, ideas and knowledge. We express opinions. We are emotional. We use our intellect. We build things like websites, gardens, highways or health care systems. We raise children, love our husband or partner and help our neighbors. We work, volunteer, vote, and build lives in cities and towns.

Most of us act automatically not really realizing how we are impacting and creating our world through our actions – what we say and what we do. Sometimes our actions pay off and sometimes they don’t but most of the time we don’t give them a second thought either way.

Yet it is through each act, that each of us makes every day that our world is created. And strung together these acts cumulatively create our families, workplaces, communities, countries and world, even our universe. The approach we take to each act we make, whether verbal or physical, is how we potentially express leadership in our life. So, how did you lead your life today?

The Advisory Board: A Solopreneur's Posse

2010-03-15T18:44:00.012-04:00

One of the most challenging things to convince a solopreneur is that they need input from others. Over the years I have learned that this is because the solopreneur is a lot like the Marlboro Man: a rugged individualist, riding western out on the range, sleeping wherever their day ends. While this may be the model that allowed him or her to take the risks to forge their path it can also be what brings them harm, either because they are too alone when there’s a threat or they are too limited in locating where the next verdant pasture may be. One option for reducing isolation and risk is forming an advisory board, which can be like having your own personal posse. The article that follows is a good primer if you are considering this option.

How to Create an Advisory Board
By ADRIANA GARDELLA
New York Times: 2/17/10

Jim Bourdon, chief executive of Accounting Management Solutions in Waltham, Mass., said his advisory board persuaded him to be more aggressive about jettisoning ineffective consultants and replacing them with star performers. The result? His clients report that his company’s consultants are either meeting or exceeding the standards set by Mr. Bourdon and his team.

Quick Tips:
Be specific about what you want the board to accomplish.
Surround yourself with people who will challenge you.
Offer board members written indemnification.
Compensate your board members to foster their commitment-and yours.
Other business owners credit their advisory boards with cutting costs; helping with product development; introducing them to valuable clients, investors, and suppliers; and eliminating the sense of isolation that can come with running your own business. Most crucial, an advisory board makes a chief executive answerable to a third party.
An advisory board should not be confused with a board of directors. Unlike directors, advisory board members have no authority over your company. They are simply there to offer advice that you can take or dismiss. They do not have the legally imposed fiduciary duties of directors.
You can set up and manage your own board or outsource the job for a fee. Bob Arciniaga, managing partner of Advisory Board Architects in Greenwood Village, Colo., estimates that it takes 20 to 30 hours a quarter to manage a board effectively. Consider outsourcing if you know you lack the time or discipline to commit to your board. If you are dedicated to making it work on your own, here are some guidelines.

HAVE AN OBJECTIVE The most successful boards are formed with a specific goal in mind. Gary Silverman, a certified financial planner in Wichita Falls, Tex., formed his board strictly for the purpose of getting input on his new business plan. Mr. Silverman had been in business for 15 years when he decided his initial plan needed to be revamped, largely to address the fate of his three-employee company after his retirement.
He had always envisioned bringing in a recent college graduate to replace him. Not so fast, said an advisory board member, Marilyn Rumsey, an executive coach and one of three independent-minded friends Mr. Silverman had chosen for his board. Ms. Rumsey urged Mr. Silverman to think about recruiting an experienced replacement. It is now written into the business plan that he will consider a more tested successor.

BE OPEN TO CHALLENGES Mr. Silverman acknowledges that his advisers are all friends. But, he said, “they are the kind of friends who have no problem telling me when I’m being stupid.” In addition to making sure that your advisers will not be mere rubber stamps, seek out those who fill knowledge gaps within your company or your own background.
Janice Shade, president of True Body Products in Richmond, Vt., wanted advisers who rounded out her skills. Ms. Shade, who has an M.B.A. but had never run a company, was glad to have chosen a human resources consultant as one of her five board members when it came time to make painful layoffs. He helped her with everything from breaking the news to handling unemployment insurance.

TURN TO A NETWORK Scott Nolan and Stason Strong, co-founders of the social networking start- up Pounse.com, began their search for advisers by taking inventory of their contacts who possessed skills or expertise they lacked, eventually settling on a ranked wish list of eight (most experts agree that small-business advisory boards of more than six are not productive).
The first person on the list, a high-level software company executive with strong connections in the venture capital world, agreed to join what would become a two-member board. The second adviser is a Pounse.com member and visual effects expert who approached the founders based on his passion for their concept. “We really wanted advisers who would be involved,” Mr. Nolan said. “Lots of people serve on 10 boards at once — and lots of start-ups just want to look like they’re tapped in by being associated with big names.”
If there are no potential advisers among your current contacts, or their networks, you may strike gold in less likely places. James Jean-Claude, chief executive of Are-You-Cool Inc., a market research firm in Washington, cold-called an important adviser after reading a newspaper article about him. Most business owners, however, begin their search for advisory
board members closer to home. The importance of working with people you trust cannot be underestimated. You will be sharing personal information about your business, and maybe even yourself.

PUT IT IN WRITING Though advisory boards are more informal than boards of directors, they should still be governed by written agreements. It is vital to consult with your lawyer before forming and working with your board. But generally, board members should sign a nondisclosure agreement, and it is wise to draft a charter that outlines your board’s responsibilities and logistics, such as meeting frequency, expected time commitment and compensation, if any.
Each board member, by name, should also receive written indemnification. Bob Arciniaga of Advisory Board Architects notes that even though advisory board members have no fiduciary duty, they can open themselves up to potential liability. “If someone wants to sue the bigger names and wallets, they can be dragged in,” he said, especially if you list your advisers on your Web site.

PAY FOR THE ADVICE Your board members will not be in it for the money. For many, being a part of a board offers mentoring, networking and social opportunities that make the experience worthwhile. It is still, however, a good idea to compensate them. At the very least, you should cover any expenses they incur to attend meetings, and provide meals when you get together. Many experts advise going beyond that, suggesting that you pay each member a per-meeting fee that might range from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars.
Mr. Bourdon, of Accounting Management Solutions, says he believes that the commitment of his current board can be at least partly attributed to the fact that he pays each member a small sum, which he describes as a stipend. Years ago, Mr. Bourdon formed a less successful board. Board meeting no-shows were common, and Mr. Bourdon often canceled meetings himself. “The old board wasn’t paid, so I wasn’t sending the right signals in terms of how important I considered it to be,” he said.
Many chief executives compensate advisory board members with stock. If you choose this route, it is important to talk to your accountant so you are sure to account for the stock transfer properly and to provide for an exit plan should your advisers want to sell their stock. Your accountant will also be able to advise you on potential pitfalls like conflict-of-interest issues that stock ownership might create for your board members who work for other companies.

Leading Your Marketing Plunge

2009-08-18T16:00:00.001-04:00

Small business owners often fall short of creating the successful businesses they desire by not having plans that fit their goals and systems for measuring their efforts as they institute them. For instance quite a few of my clients crank out the work they love but they hate stepping back and figuring out what they want their business to look like in 5, 10 or 20 years. Other clients have websites but think it is a waste of time to learn how social media can help them build their businesses. And I have yet to have a client who embraced, without kicking and screaming, the need for a 60-second elevator pitch, yet this itsy tool packs a huge marketing wallop!

These clients often avoid creating plans and measuring systems because to do so brings them face to face with their leadership limitations. In other words, where they struggle and are unskilled is often where they are uncomfortable and up against their development. Their solution is to work day in and day out without a plan. Or to rely on doing only what they’re comfortable doing. Ultimately this approach frustrates their efforts to push their business to the next level of success. They are not doing these on purpose; they just don’t see the connection between what they’re doing (or not doing) and their frustration.

Therefore, as a leadership coach I find myself regularly helping my clients with their marketing efforts and all the ways they need to grow in order to put their marketing plans into action. So you can imagine how much I appreciated receiving my colleague and friend Beth Goldstein’s latest newsletter where she concisely spells out “10 Marketing Tips to Deploy...NOW.” These great tips can put your business ahead of the curve especially in these difficult times.

Taking your business from good to great requires you to be challenged and step up even more as the leader of your business. I encourage you to assess which of Beth’s tips you avoid learning because you are uncomfortable and push yourself to learn how to use them. Then witness the power of stepping out of your comfort zone and into your leadership zone!

Here are Beth’s tips:
1. Work ON your business not IN it. Think about where you need to be a year from now and ensure all of your actions are aligned with achieving those goals. When we're busy working IN the business, on a day-to-day basis, we sometimes end up doing activities that lead us astray from our truly intended business goal.
2. Create an Elevator Pitch that not only clearly describes your value but also positions your business in the most powerful light possible. Your pitch, whether truly delivered in an elevator or in a hockey rink or at a networking event must always show your passion as well as reinforce your credibility so the person receiving the pitch will want to continue a dialogue with you.
3. Profile your customers so you close the gap between what you think they want and what they truly need. Make sure that customers' perception and experience with your company is truly the one you want them to experience. This includes understandings their demographics, psychographic and behavioral characteristics.
4. Understand what differentiates your company from your competitors. This includes not only companies that provide similar services/products that you do but all of the firms that compete for the same customer dollars. For example, one of my successful entrepreneurs in my InnerCity Entrepreneurs class runs an HVAC (heating, ventilation and air conditioning) company. In reviewing her competitors she realized that some of her prospects were deciding between spending money on a new AC system or a new swimming pool. That makes swimming pool firms her direct competition.
5. Understand how your brand impacts and influences prospective customers. A brand is not simply your logo or tagline. It's how your customers perceive you and the impact that has upon their relationship with your company. Are you the highest-quality provider, the least expensive or the firm with the best customer support? Do you know which of these traits is most important to your customers and how you fulfill their needs?
6. Expand your customer touch points. Evaluate how you communicate with customers and determine if these methods are still valid. If you've been advertising in the yellow pages for the past 20 years, do you know if customers still find out about your type of services this way or are they looking for you through search engines or online review sites or perhaps through social media tools like blogs, Twitter, Facebook or Youtube?
7. Make the right connections. Who do you need to meet to improve your business and who needs to meet you? Where are they? Can you meet them at networking events, professional associations or online in social media groups? This is a great time to reconnect with colleagues and former business associates.
8. Boot strap your success via business partners. Think of your partners as companies who are focused on the same target market as you are yet don't compete with you. If you sell lighting fixtures in the luxury market, architects and designers might be a perfect match for you to work with to expand your customer base. Remember, partnerships only work if they're win-win, meaning you have to provide as much benefit to your partner as they do to you.
9. Remember that sales is not a 4-letter word. Selling is about listening to your customers' needs and addressing them clearly and thoughtfully. It's not about telling somebody everything you know about your products and services. A good salesperson spends at least 75% of their time listening to their customers' needs before talking. With a typical adult attention span of 15-30 seconds, that means you need to truly do your homework before you meet with a key prospect so the message you provide is clear, concise and targeted toward providing them with a solution that is customer-focused.
10. Remember, it's a numbers game. You need to understand how many calls it takes to land a sale as well as the value each type of customer provides to your business. If you aren't measuring results then you'll likely find yourself spending your time prospecting for customers who simply don't generate enough revenue to justify the cost nor time required. It's all about bottom line results and to achieve them, you need to begin by understanding which customers to pursue and which to fire.
Visit Marketing Edge Consulting Services at: www.m-edge.com

Lazy Days of August, NOT!

2009-08-10T16:04:00.005-04:00

I’m sitting here at my desk while outside there is another storm brewing. It is August but the skies are gray and the temperature is 58*. The weather here in the northeast like most of the country has been weird for months. But it’s more than the weather that’s different this summer.

When summer rolls around our minds focus on leisure as we seek to keep cool, enjoy the long days and take time off from the usual work routine. So August is usually a month when it’s hard to reach folks, get any business done or keep your mind on work. We figure we’ll pick up the pace after Labor Day. But this year all bets are off. People are at attention, focused on surviving the economic crisis in whatever ways it is affecting them.

So many people are out of work and can’t afford to relax and kick back at the beach or lakeside. Instead they must job hunt, collect unemployment and cut financial corners. And for those lucky enough to have a job the workload is heavier than usual and tension’s high. They’re working long hours, sometimes even weekends. They’re busy, rushing around.

How we handle this shifting landscape has a lot to do with our ability to read what is needed accurately and meet the demands with a minimum of resistance. Of course this is easier said than done.

First of all we all need a giant dose of radical acceptance – gone is the comfort of tried and true. Sure the pundits and White House spokespeople are telling us things are turning around and while, I’m sure they are correct, it is important to remember this is a long game. It took 18 to 24 months to get here and it is going to take at least that long and probably longer to get to a place where we can relax a bit. So the question is how do we sustain this kind of a stress-filled period and thrive?

I’m doing a couple things that are helping me that seemed worthy of sharing. I began noticing, that along with many other people I come in contact with every day, I was feeling more frustrated than usual. There are less people doing more work so there’s less help everywhere you turn – restaurant, gas station, or a bricks and mortar or on-line store. After a few close encounters of the melt down kind, including one lack of service debacle at the deli, I decided something was not working. I had a good talk with myself and realized I had to seriously change my expectations. So I’m working harder to keep my frustrations under control. I slow down and actually pay attention to my breathing. I let a lot more slide deciding to give energy only to what really matters.

Once I got a grip on my own frustrations I looked around and could see more clearly that everybody is stressed. Many people are close to loosing their home or job. Of course, it follows that therefore people should be more helpful but that just is not how we operate. Instead people are driving more aggressively, going off at the drop of a hat and being much less friendly. Once I connected the crappy way people are acting with how they’re coping with the stress it was a lot easier to figure out how I wanted to respond. I decided I want to be more generous because when I come from a place of generosity I feel expansive and have a sense of abundance. Of course I have to figure out moment-to-moment what generosity looks like. So sometimes it is letting the cars attempting to merge cut in. At other times it is letting someone else go ahead of me in line. Or it is doing an extra chore, helping a neighbor lay her bricks or, oh you get the idea!

Finally, with all this extra stress and longer hours of work I have needed to figure out new and different ways to relax. I’m sure there are loads of you out there who have tried and true ways you kick back. My guess is that they include using personal or vacation days, traveling or going out somewhere. But all of these activities either require time or money both of which are at a premium. Instead of taking the time to figure out how to do new things to relax a lot of folks are bearing up and pushing through their stress. This might work in the short term but it is not a good long-term solution. I took a look at things I used to do like go out to dinner, shop or travel and realized I needed to do new things to unwind. I started a social group for crafting one-time per month. Also, joined a book group. And I began taking baths in the evening before bed a couple times a week instead of my usual morning shower. These don’t cost anything and they’re giving me socializing and relaxation.

So August is indeed different this year. And it is not merely the weather. We’re all at our desks, cranking out more and more or pounding the actual or virtual pavement job hunting. The usual benefits of this lazy summer month are being denied us this year. But you can realize and accept this fact and do a few simple things to help – keep your frustrations to a minimum, be more generous with yourself and others and figure out some new ways to relax. And hopefully you can go through this month and this challenging time healthier and happier!

The High of Anxiety

2009-08-05T14:53:00.002-04:00

I feel electrified by anxiety today. On the one hand this makes me feel very alive and energized. On the other hand I feel like jumping out a – figurative – window to end the frayed feeling just like Mel Brooks in the movie “High Anxiety.” I’ve done enough work on myself that I can finally make the choice to use the anxiety to create wonderful new things rather than be caught in the swirling spiral but this has not been an easy lesson to learn.

Most of us, fortunately, live in a day-to-day state of equilibrium where we are not too excited or too flat. It is this balanced state that supports us in getting done what we need to do and keeping our lives on track. So, usually when we get hit by a big dose of anxiety we quite naturally scramble to regain a position of stasis. We want so much to feel that sense of comfort that comes when the waters are calm and the boat is steadily sailing along.

I totally get the desire to be sailing through calm waters and have good skills for doing so. Only problem is it does not help me navigate a storm. I used to fight the storm so valiantly that I could actually space myself out without the benefit of old fashioned barbiturates – Michael Jackson eat your heart out. While this worked splendidly to assure not tipping the boat over it also insured an all too predictable course.

For much of my life this predictable course stuff was perfect for survival. But I could not really grow and develop new ways of being without entering into uncharted waters that were often a bit rough and brought me to the brink of my comfort zone. I found myself up against two very powerful forces – on the one hand I was driven to grow and shake things up, on the other hand my emotional stability depended on me keeping my equilibrium.

The only solution was to learn to be comfortable in discomfort. Which brings me back to the beginning of this story. I have been feeling amazing waves of anxiety for almost a week. For the first 24 hours or so I was having a little mini tantrum, wishing it would stop and I could get back to my calm way of being. I realized that it was not going away and I was beginning to space myself out – obsessive net surfing, lack of focus on to-do list, over involvement in the lives of my friends, etc., etc., etc. And then something clicked in. I began asking what I could create with all the energy. It was wonderful to begin creating – connections, writing and relationships. Instead of being tired and a bit down I started feeling energized and alive. The anxiety still needs channeling; I need to rest and eat right but I’m embracing it and creating all sorts of wonderful things.

Bios That Blow Them Away

2009-08-04T15:52:00.003-04:00

I am shocked that so many people misunderstand what should be included in a bio and further by how many boring, useless bios exist. Like a fingerprint a well-written bio should result in setting you apart from everyone else. The reader should get a sense of your unique skills, experience and personality. A bio is not a paragraph form of the resume. The resume is a fact sheet with a timeline. A bio is actually closer to the center two paragraphs of a well-crafted resume except it is not written for a specific position. It can include a highlight or two of accomplishments but must say more – such as, what you contribute, what about you is unique or special, what values you express in your work.

In describing what a biography is www.Wikipedia.org/wiki/Biography addresses so well what distinguishes a strong work bio from a weak one, “A biography is more than a list of impersonal facts (education, work, relationships, and death), it also portrays the subject's experience of those events. Unlike a profile or curriculum vitae (résumé), a biography presents the subject's story, highlighting various aspects of his or her life, including intimate details of experiences, and may include an analysis of the subject's personality.”

Here is a link that demonstrates what a poor bio looks like and then how an improved rewrite reads. I think it is a good example of how bios need to be dynamic and pop while being accurate rather than read like a boring regurgitation of you work experience.
http://www.yudkin.com/sample6b.htm

And here is a great analysis of the writing of a particular bio: http://tinyurl.com/5nakx9. In this example the author goes line by line through the well-written bio explaining what is important about the copy.

Both of these examples show the importance of honest, passionate copy that sets you apart by focusing on your uniqueness. There are many instances when you can use a bio: as a follow up to meetings, as an introduction to anyone you are about to meet, as an addition to your resume and cover letter in a job search, or sent to the team in advance of a formal interview. But it is too late to start scrambling to write one when you need it. In these challenging career times it is well worth your time to create a tight, dynamic bio to give you an edge. Then wherever you need it you can pull it up and send it off.

Taking A Break

2009-07-31T16:28:00.003-04:00

I am tired but can’t seem to stop Facebooking, Tweeting, writing about leadership and surfing the web. I thought I needed some food to provide much needed energy. But even after a delicious lunch of organic lunchmeat and cheese on gluten free bread with a side of sautéed veggies fresh from my garden I’m still tired. I used to ignore my body's signals to rest, slow down or stop. I'd end up flat on my back with pain so bad it took a couple days of codeine to get any relief. I am amazed now when I feel my neck aching that I used to ignore it. Where on earth did I learn I was a machine?

I hope it is not over stating the obvious to write – I am not a machine. I need rest, food (hopefully delicious), and play in addition to work. And the funny thing is I need the rest, food and play in order to work better, smarter and more successfully.

So here I am on Friday afternoon with my eyes drooping as I write this. It is time to call it a day. Wow, it just started pouring rain. How perfectly timed it is to hear the pitter-patter of raindrops on the roof and against the window. A gift. I’ll allow the rhythm of the rain to lull to sleep. I’ll plan my weekend later!

5 Leadership Lessons: Getting Your Relationships Right

2009-07-29T16:13:00.004-04:00

I like Michael McKinney's post on the book Leadership Beyond Reason. Thought it was worth re-posting here, especially b/c it focuses on the importance of our relationships as leaders. Hope you enjoy it.

Posted: 7/27/09 on www.leadershipnow.com
When we think of leadership we naturally regard the objective and view with suspicion the subjective. We value hard data over soft data; reason over instinct; the external world over the internal world. John Townsend writes that “Great leaders succeed by harnessing the power of both the external world and the internal world. You, as a leader, are probably more trained, prepared, and experienced in the external world than you are in the inner one.”

Townsend wrote Leadership Beyond Reason to help you understand and utilize the soft skills – that which is beyond reason. He says “you ignore what is beyond reason at your own peril….Leading from your inner world ultimately produces better results in your leadership.”

He divides our inner world into five areas: values, thoughts, emotions, relationships and transformation. As leadership is about connecting with those you lead and a primary focus of leadership, let’s pull five lessons from Townsend on relationships:
Leadership Beyond Reason

1 “You internalize anyone who is significant to you, past and present. As well, the people you are leading are currently internalizing you. As a leader, you have the responsibility of knowing that people are storing mental and emotional pictures of how you relate to and lead them.” These are our relational images. It reminds me of a quote from Shakespeare, “There is a history in all men's lives.” This includes you too. We relate to others in ways that others have related to us. This of course has an impact on the connections we can make with others.

2 Develop good and healthy relational images. “Take in the good and forgive and grow from the bad.” He explains, “Some of your own significant relationships may have been with people who were cold, controlling, manipulative, self-centered, critical, or even abusive. This can create distorted or nonfunctioning pictures of how relationships should work.” Is your leadership drawing on images that don’t work for you?

3 “An important relational ability for leaders is to see people as separate from you and from their roles with you. Your people want to work with you, or they wouldn’t be with you. But you aren’t their reason for existing. They have lives, dreams, and concerns of their own. You need to be able to identify and understand that. Sometimes leaders assume everyone has the vision as strongly as they do or are as committed as they are. That can be a mistake and can undo what you are trying to accomplish wit them.”

4 “Relationship provides the bridge over which truth can be conveyed. In your leadership, your people will experience truth in the absence of relationship as harness, judgment, or condemnation. They will resist it and refuse it, either actively or subtly. Truth is hard to swallow if you don’t feel connected with the truth teller. That is why being “for” the other person, letting them know that, and being as emotionally accessible as possible, at the time of the reality, is critical.” Often “counseling” or performance appraisals often derail on this issue as no sense of being “for” the other person has been established. Trying to develop a relationship “at the time of the reality” is too late. Do it now.

5 “The better you can relate, the better you will be able to influence and motivate…. Passion is ignited when the real self connects with the right task environment…. You can’t create passion, not for yourself or for anyone else. Your job is to create the right environment for the chemistry to happen. You do this by personal research. You must spend the energy to know your people and learn which tasks intersect with their passions. It will be different for different individuals; it’s not a one-style-fits-all program. But when you develop this relational ability, and get to know the insides of your people, the value and benefits are enormous.

Developing your relational abilities will help you read the landscape. Townsend adds, “The leader who misses relational aspects is surprised when people become distant, resentful, or just leave. The relational leader sees the signs coming a long way away and has time to do something about them

Be U’R Own Leadership Coach: #2 Forget Standing By Your Man – Lead Him!

2009-06-22T17:03:00.005-04:00

I was listening to "Car Talk," the NPR show where listeners call in for help with their cars. The hosts make me laugh and nostalgically remind me of my two Italian uncles. They were talking about what makes marriage work citing John Gottman of all people. Gottman is a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and director of The Gottman Institute where he has studied marriage for over thirty years.

It was a real hoot to hear these guys citing Gottman's work. They said Gottman discovered that what makes marriages work is when the woman says what she wants and the man does it. The car guys figured from this that the big challenge would be to get men to do what their wives asked. But in my twenty-five years experience I’ve learned the real challenge is getting women to say to the men in their lives in a clear, direct manner what they want.

Women are socialized to believe if you have to ask for what you want it means your man does not really love you. After all if he really loved you he would know exactly what you wanted and deliver it every time. This approach to romantic relationships is fraught with passivity, which worked just fine for women 40+ years ago when the woman’s role in romantic relationships was primarily one of support and the need was for protection and financial security.

But today you have a career, your own money and life goals. You are educated and contribute your fair share and often more. Today many of you want romantic relationships for connection and fulfillment with a partner walking along by your side. You want relationships that support and nourish you where you have plenty of input and control, a true partnership. Yet you enter relationships doing the same old things your mothers and grandmothers did 40, 50 or even 100 years ago. When you don’t end up with what you set out to create you end up resentful of, disappointed by or angry with the guys you’re involved with or worse, fearful of getting involved at all.

What you have to learn in order to change this cycle of dissatisfaction is how to ask for what you want and create the environment for getting it, in other words by being the leader of your romantic relationship. Of course there is no ready-made road map for you to follow to become a leader in your romantic relationship; there are no books written – yet – on how to do this. This leadership is not the leadership practiced by people with positions of authority. This leadership is leadership that emerges out of paying attention and recognizing what is needed, and stepping up to provide it for the good of the relationship.

I’ve discovered women are leaders everyday at work – whether they realize it or not – but often leave their skills at the office when they go home. When I work with women on their romantic relationships our leadership coaching focuses on identifying and repurposing what they know and how they use what they know as leaders in their careers to be leaders in their romantic relationships.

You can begin transforming your romantic relationship by actively leading your man. Here are some steps you can take to help you discover what leadership skills you possess, when you use them and how you can repurpose them to lead at home.

1. When Have You Led?
You were born with the capacity to lead. Whether self-conscious or by default you likely led at school, in your family and among your friends since you were a small child. Now as an adult, you probably provide leadership on your job to direct reports, colleagues and managers. All those leadership skills can be mined and repurposed in your romantic relationship. But first you have to identify and name them. The challenge here is that it is very likely your leadership skills are so much a part of “you” that it will be difficult for you to step back and identify them. The following instructions can help you.

Brainstorm about any times throughout your life both formally and informally when you were a leader of any project or event. Go back through your school years, college and work history. Also, think about how you have been and are in social groups. Do this thinking on your own by going within yourself and drawing on memory. Also, talk about this with friends and family. Make sure you have a way to capture what you discover – either paper or computer. Some questions to explore: When did people follow you, either formally or informally? When were you appointed to lead something? When did you step up and take charge because it was needed? When did you speak up? What initiatives do you lead at work or in your community? What events have you produced?

Remain receptive and open. I assure you, you have been a leader so look for when you led rather than if you led. Don’t worry about organizing this info just yet. Instead scribble all the memories out. Make a list of everything you come up with.

2. Which Leadership Skills Did You Use?
Now that you have some memories you want to figure out what the skills were that you demonstrated in the different situations. The easiest way to do this is to first identify what activities you did. You need to have more paper or your computer file opened so you can jot things down as they occur to you.

Make a list of all the different times you were a formal or informal leader from the brainstorm you did in step 1. Then for each situation ask yourself a series of questions and take notes. Such as: What compelled you to lead this particular situation? What did you do to bring people together? How did you motivate everyone? How did you keep people involved? How did you establish commonality? How did you work with differences? How did you approach problems? How did you show appreciation?

There are probably hundreds of skills that demonstrate leadership. No one possesses or uses all of them, but you do possess and use several. There will be some skills you have perfected, while others you could get better at using and still others you need to add to become more effective. Here is a partial list of skills leaders use: set direction, influence others, create vision, identify & use resources, learn from failures & challenges, obtain opinions, seek consensus, give praise, share information, set an example, be trustworthy, mentor, face conflict, team build, motivate, respond, be enthusiastic, encourage, leverage, innovate, focus, be steady, non-reactive, adaptable, act fluidly.

The next step is for you to discover which leadership skills you possess. To do this read over your notes and begin naming the leadership skills you used in each situation. Do not limit yourself to the above list. Jot down next to each situation all the leadership skills you used to achieve the groups and your goals.

3. How Could You Use Your Leadership Skills With Your Man?
Now that you have a list of leadership skills you have used in various situations this step is straightforward. Go over your list and put a check next to the skills you already use successfully in your romantic relationship. Don’t cheat. The correct score will probably be low.

Where you do score a “yes” make notes of when you use/d the skill and what worked about it. Then begin going through each of the other skills and write down situations when your relationship would benefit from you using each leadership skill. Think of 2-3 situations or interactions between you and your partner in recent times when you were not satisfied by how things turned out. Write down these situations. Then go over what skills you could have used to achieve a different result.

While this section has the least instructions it is by far the most challenging and requires the most creativity to make this entire exercise worthwhile for you. So don’t rush it. Take your time even if that means revisiting this for several weeks or months. Remember you probably never thought of being a leader in your relationship so you have to live with this new concept, try it on, and experiment. Leadership is life-long and requires regular skills assessment, refinement and development.

Congratulations!
The steps outlined here can help you to begin shifting from passive participant to active leader in your romantic relationship. Leading is extremely rewarding and empowering but it is also hard work. There are no short cuts – you have to practice, try things, fail, learn from your mistakes and try again, incorporating what you've learned. You'll be tempted to quit leading. But throwing in the towel, giving up or having meltdowns do not support you! They just undermine your energy and get you off course.

Learn to pay attention to what you do that undermines your leadership and discipline yourself not to do it. Explore what motivates you to be a leader in you romantic relationship. Once you get clear about what is motivating you use it to keep you on track when you face the choice of practicing leadership or burying your head in the sand.

And finally have fun! Learning to be a leader in your romantic relationship is enriching, enjoyable and energizing so approach it as such. Life is way too short!

Be U’R Own Leadership Coach: #1 Turn Reactions into Reflections

2009-06-15T09:41:00.004-04:00

Being a leader requires regular self-evaluation and willingness to stretch and grow. A perfect opportunity for your leadership development is when someone is reactive to something you do or say either in your verbal or written communication. No matter how well intentioned your communication was, you probably did something in it that caused the reactivity. So start your exploration from the radical position that the person is completely justified in their reaction and that you have things to learn about what you did. Then turn your lens on you and get ready for some powerful learning. There is much to learn if you follow these 4 rules and practice them regularly.

1. Be non-blaming
2. Be curious
3. Be empathic
4. Be future focused

Although we cannot control others' reactions, with practice and focus we can do better and better at communicating in ways that result in open, non-defensive responses. And remember leadership is not a goal it is a practice of continuous improvement and growth NOT perfection – so practice, practice, practice!

Read the full article here: http://tinyurl.com/mvthuh

Introducing "Be UR Own Leadership Coach"

2009-06-09T15:35:00.007-04:00

Being a self-conscious, skilled leader is just what you need to meet the personal and professional challenges of the current financial crisis. And you need a lot of support to come through this period stronger, leaner and on top. Whether you are in the job market, struggling to stay employed, or stressed out by all the pressures at home - stepping up as a leader during these challenging times is just the edge you need to remain viable and go through this period successfully.

Be UR Own Leadership Coach is a series of articles, blog posts and tweets designed to support you in advancing, honing and growing your leadership abilities. Each post stands on it’s own, offering a rationale for the proposed learning and steps to achieve it. You can do as much or as little as you have the time and desire for. The series will take everyday challenges like “when your failing,” “handling reactivity,” or “getting out of your comfort zone,” and give you step-by-step practical advice for how you can approach the challenge as a leader.

What I have discovered in my work with hundreds of people over almost thirty years is that every one of us is born a leader. How well you lead determines your success in business and in life. So to increase your success you want to increase your leadership abilities. There are three areas you must attend to simultaneously in order to become a well-rounded leader.

You must be willing to look at yourself through accepting feedback, noticing impact and facing limitations.
You must seek education and training through taking classes and workshops, hiring a coach and doing plenty of reading.
You have to approach each situation and moment of life as an opportunity to practice what you’re learning.

The Be UR Own Leadership Coach series is designed to address all of these critical areas. When you practice being the leader you were born to be suddenly you are in the driver’s seat of your life rather than feeling like you’re in the middle of the freeway on foot. So look for future posts and climb behind the wheel!

Leaders Ask The Right Questions

2008-04-18T13:20:00.007-04:00

Many of us create visions for our lives personally and professionally. We figure out what we want and where we want to go. And then life happens and our visions go by the wayside. Down the line – a few weeks, months or years – we wonder what happened to our well conceived of plans. Debbie Ford has one of the answers in her book “The Right Questions.” According to Ford unless we are vigilantly questioning ourselves about our choices we will be led by our emotions, our momentary desires or our past habits. She says it is the choices we make that lead us to fulfillment or lack there of.

I agree with her. I have worked with people for over twenty-five years and I cannot tell you how many countless times people come to me completely unaware of how they got to where they are. They have no idea how their choices brought them to today and that it was not a single choice but usually hundreds of tiny, everyday choices that led to them being where they are – in debt, unemployed, breaking up another relationship, missing another promotion, unhealthy and on and on.

I help them untangle the mess and become leaders of their lives. Effective leaders recognize that the decisions they make today affect tomorrow’s results. They demand from themselves answers to hard questions. The questions that need answering are one’s that will demand of them that they walk-the-walk not merely talk-the-talk. Asking powerful, bold questions of our selves is an act of self-consciousness. The act holds us to high standards based on our own desires for life. The questions described in Ford’s book are designed to help people evaluate which choices to make along their path rather than to help them decide the destination. These questions are a great tool to employ to keep you moving toward your goals in a moment-to-moment manner no matter the various pulls and urges that occur every day.

“The Right Questions” comes in hard cover, paperback and a kindle version. I like the handy paperback version because you can slip it in your purse or briefcase. This way you can read bits and pieces as you move through your day, reminding yourself to be conscious of each choice you make and how it affects your goals and dreams. I also found it helpful to type up the questions and keep a copy in my day timer where I could refer to them as I moved through my day.

Leading Down: Developing Great Managers

2008-02-29T14:17:00.003-05:00

Managing is hard work! Every week I coach managers in business, government and non-profits who are frustrated by how to get the work done by their direct reports so they can do their jobs and meet their boss’ expectations. How-To-Manage books are a dime a dozen and frequently imprecise and unhelpful. So when my colleague Bill Pullen turned me on to “First Break All the Rules,” by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman I was very pleased to have found a resource to recommend and use with my clients. Based on in-depth interviews conducted over 25 years by the Gallop Organization of 80,000 managers from more than 400 companies, this book delivers value by laying out what great managers really do in an easy, concise manner.

According to the authors, over the past twenty years through the well-intentioned efforts of training departments and consultants corporate America undertook a campaign to transform managers into leaders. By and large this was done by promoting certain leadership skills in managers such as focusing on complex initiatives like re-engineering and taking away more basic functions such as staff development. They assert this shift has taken the most important functions of managers away resulting in a management void. In addition the shift ignored developing the most important leadership skills required so managers could succeed at leading down, such as recognizing each individual’s skills and talents, resisting uniformity by capitalizing on differences and creating opportunities for each person on their team to become more of who s/he already is.

The authors succeed at designing a process of skills development that serves to support managers in being great managers and great downward leaders simultaneously. The book does this by identifying the 4 keys of great managers and 12 questions asked of direct reports that determine how effective a manager is performing. The goal of a great manager is to receive “strongly agree” answers to the questions, in progressive ascending order from 1 through 12. This framework gives managers, HR departments, employees and organizations the information they need to attract, keep and develop the best managers.

This book comes in hard and paperback and in one of my favorite formats – audio CD, in this case unabridged. While it would be great to have a hard copy of the 12 questions there is not a lot that would be lost by listening to this book. So if you’re busy and have multi-tasking time while you cook or exercise by all means get the CD. Of course, if you’re like me you’ll want to own the book so you can underline the concepts and make lots of notes in the columns. Either way this is a great resource for developing great managers!

Turning A Nice Girl Into A Leader

2008-02-22T09:12:00.005-05:00

“Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office” is Dr. Lois Frankel’s 2004 bestselling book on the unconscious mistakes that women make that sabotage their careers. I use this book all the time in my life leadership coaching with women whether they work in corporations or they’re entrepreneurs because for women to succeed anywhere they have to grow to overcome their own self-limiting behaviors and beliefs.

What I love about this book is how clearly the 101 mistakes are organized under 7 broad areas. I am not big on quizzes because they often stop at only giving information. That is not the case here. Instead the author has created a quiz that very easily identifies and ranks an individual woman’s 7 areas from strong to weak. Then once a woman identifies the two or three areas she’s weakest she can read the chapters and further focus in on which of the mistakes she makes. The coaching tips and simple exercises at the end of each mistake support practice and self-improvement.

This book is also available on Audio CD a great format for iPods, listening while driving or exercising. One drawback of the audio format is missing out on the quiz, which is a great feature.

Every time I’ve used this quiz with clients they have benefited from the clarity and direction. This is one of the best thought out and useful books for self-employed women, managers and executives I have ever seen or used. To step up as leaders of their lives women must get to know and change self-defeating behaviors. "Nice Girls..." can help get them started whether they are working with it on their own or with their coach or mentor.

The American Idol Leadership Edge

2008-02-13T15:11:00.001-05:00

I have to confess I love American Idol. As soon as the season begins I’m glued to the set and just forget interrupting me!

I really like witnessing the transparent process of going from having a dream to making your dream come true. I love Simon’s feedback to the performers – as blunt as it often is. He functions like a mentor, telling it like it is. It is up to the participants to make use of his comments and those of Randy and Paula if they are serious about developing singing careers.

The other thing that is clearly visible to me is the contestant’s leadership edge. Each time they perform they have to respond to feedback whether positive or negative. It is striking how easily responses to good feedback end up sounding self-centered rather than humble. Conversely negative feedback often results in defensiveness rather than welcome interest.

Becoming a successful singer starts with a good voice but it is certainly not where it ends. Humbly accepting help and responding openly with curiosity are just two leadership characteristics that will support a good singer to become a polished professional. These leadership skills are what I’m looking for behind the voice of each American Idol contestant.

Life Leadership

2008-02-08T11:51:00.000-05:00

“Learning to lead is a lot easier than most of us think it is, because each of us contains the capacity for leadership.” Warren Bennis

I believe that - regardless of your title or role—you can stand tall and confident as the leader of your life, moving it forward in small and big ways all the time. I call this Life Leadership.

To fully be the life leader you were born to be you must use your natural-born talents while adding new skills to your repertoire. You have to learn to assess your environments from various perspectives. You have to get to know what makes those around you tick. And, finally, you have to dance with all of these all the time.

There are some wonderful benefits from being a life leader. Imagine how great it would be if you could respond to situations in real-time rather than in hindsight. You’ll create satisfying outcomes to all situations feeling closer to those around you. The peace and competence that comes from this gives you spiritual centeredness and financial success.

A Leader In The Grocery Line

2007-06-13T16:01:00.000-04:00

The concept of taking leadership responsibility is not that difficult to wrap yourself around when that responsibility naturally goes along with the territory. Like when you are a parent, you know you are responsible for your children and their needs. Or when you manage a department in a company, you know you’re in charge of all the work getting done. But there are lots of circumstances when the responsibility lines are not so finely drawn; when how we approach what is happening can make a difference to how things turn out. The essence of leadership for me is finding ways to have the world be a better place. Figuring out how to lead in ordinary moments has always fascinated me. I wonder what opportunities they present and how we can approach them.

Like last week when I was in the Acme shopping for dinner. You’ve probably been in situations like these. There was a man ahead of me in line and another man standing with a cart of bagged groceries ahead of him. The checkout woman began ringing the man just ahead of me. Then she turned to the other man and told him she was sorry but he would have to be checked out again. He made intimidating angry grunts, huffing and puffing while he banged his cart through the aisle getting in line behind me. Meanwhile the man being checked out pretended nothing was happening, probably to avoid a direct confrontation and even a fight. The checkout woman started making faces at other checkout people. And the guy behind me started throwing bags onto the conveyor belt. Under these circumstances most people would be biding their time hoping to get out of there, not thinking about their responsibility in this situation. But for me this was an opportunity to give what I know to a difficult situation that could affect the way things turned out for the better for everyone – the essence of what I believe leadership is.

First off I asked the enraged guy if he would be careful to not hit me with his cart because I wanted to remind him that his actions were affecting others around him. I did this not in some critical way but in a very human-to-human way. He responded by saying he wouldn’t hit me in a way that sounded kind, given his level of distress. As the situation calmed down the checkout woman decided to express her relief by whispering and laughing with another employee. I said in a quiet but firm and direct way that they had to stop laughing because it was going to make him angrier. I was stepping out of the conventional role and into a role of leader taking responsibility for the situation. They were really startled but stopped laughing.

I was still relieved to get out of there. But I also felt something else; an inner strength that what was happening around me was not merely happening to me without me being able to influence it. This empowered me. It made me feel a bit taller, a bit more confident. And this made me present to my life including my mundane visit to the grocery store.

Living La Dolce Vita...

2006-06-05T13:40:00.001-04:00

I just got off the phone with a client of mine. She's going through a tough time. She is the owner of a small business. She is dissatisfied with her life. She is someone who loves work and purpose. As a result she works long hours. But she tells me she's a shell, empty, soulless. These are her own adjectives to describe herself. But they are descriptions I hear over and over again from women and men that I work with. As a matter of fact, I hear it from friends, as well as from strangers at the grocery store. Hmm? More and more people are asking themselves, "Is what I'm doing enough?"? "Is this all there is?"? Hearing them gets me thinking. What's the problem? Is there a pattern here? What is it? Do we want to change it? If so, how do we do that?

It reminds me of a conversation I had a couple years ago when I was traveling in Italy with a friend of mine. She is a consultant who makes over a million dollars per year. The two of us were sipping our morning espresso from the roof garden of our hotel in Rome overlooking Trajan's Market and just down the street from the Coliseum. Our view was awe-inspiring. Trajan's Market is considered by many to be the first shopping center housing 150 shops and offices. Of course today this is not a very remarkable feat but Trajan's Market was built in 100 AD -?nearly 2000 years ago, wow! Trajan was the first Emperor of Rome to be chosen rather than in line to succeed. Like Jeff Immelt, CEO of GE, Trajan was groomed to rule Rome at the death of the Emperor Nerva. What a perfect spot for a discussion of life, work and leisure! My friend kicked off the conversation saying, "Boy oh boy, the Italians sure are relaxed and casual. They really live la dolce vita. No wonder they failed."

Given the civilization we were witnessing plus my Italian heritage I felt seriously offended by this. I also thought she was completely missing what had produced what she was seeing. I said, "What you're experiencing of them is the result of having made it as the world's super power and lost it. So their casual, relaxed attitude is continuous with their history. I doubt their attitude of living life to the fullest predates the loss of being the ruling power of the world and the subsequent process necessary to continue moving forward as a civilization."

As was typical of us these first assertions led to a long, meandering, philosophical conversation about how Americans work. The long hours they put in. The weekends where they go into the office, check e-mail, blackberries and cell phone messages regularly. We talked about the difference between European and American vacationing. How Europeans take a month or more to travel and relax while Americans in contrast rarely take more than a week and then spend most of it checking e-mail and speaking to their office via cell phone.

She said these idiosyncratic differences between European and American vacationing are what have been required to make America the world power. I pondered whether this activity might not be the very activity that is also making more and more successful people feel empty, like shells albeit shells with big new homes, fat IRAs and high achieving children.

In my work I meet a lot of people each year who are very successful. Yet they feel there is something basic missing in their life. They want to enjoy their children more. Or carve out the time to do some of the things they put aside in order to succeed - such as read a novel, putter in the garden, or bake some cookies. Still others find themselves alone at the end of every day without a warm body to snuggle against or a child's voice. Too often they believe that in order to open their life to fulfill some of these missing needs would mean destroying all that they've built. They get themselves all boxed in. They feel trapped by what they are doing and by what they are not doing!

I am reminded of the extra stuff on the DVD of the movie The Italian Job. I can't remember who said it - Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron or maybe Edward Norton - but one of them said they were shocked that the Italians did not start shooting until 8AM, took a break between Noon and 2PM and then shot until 6PM. They actually believed the movie wouldn't get done and were shocked that it not only got made but it got made on time and within budget. I could almost see the star's wheels turning -? "hum, I could work making a great living and still enjoy life"!

So how do you create a life that honors what you've built yet adds some sweetness? Is it possible? Are you doing it? Do you want more sweetness? Share how you're living La Dolce Vita with us. I would love to hear from you.

The Leading Edge…

2006-05-10T11:50:00.000-04:00

I am working with two colleagues on a Women’s Leadership Workbook. It is a wonderful and powerful experience. The process has me thinking a lot about my history and development as a woman and a leader.

I grew up in a small town in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania. When I was about eleven or twelve years old I decided I wanted to be a Candy Striper at the local hospital. I showed up for “work” in my pale green and white striped seersucker pinafore and white short sleeve blouse. My assignment was in Histology. The entire department was staffed with women technicians. I can remember them being kind and big sisterly to me. In our town there were two pathologists that rotated histology duties. One was a Jewish doctor who had emigrated from Germany. He had a thick accent and no nonsense manner. Even then I recognized he was also an intellectual. The women feared him. They were also annoyed that he would show up later in the day requiring them to clean up in the last minutes of their day. One Friday the women told me they all had to leave to go to their hairdresser appointments. They said when Dr. F shows up I should assist him. Being given such a big responsibility excited me beyond belief. They closed up the lab except for the bench where the specimens would be examined and wished me a good weekend.

A short time later Dr. F arrived at the dimly lit lab. I told him I was there to assist him. Amazingly, in retrospect, he only registered the slightest flicker of surprise and then went over to the counter. Among the specimens for examination was a full hysterectomy. Dr. F began to lie out the organs under a bright spot light. He carefully placed the uterus with the fallopian tubs as delicate branches reaching out of either side of the top. Finally he laid down two ovaries. All along he kindly explained that these were the organs growing inside of me. He went on to do all the other specimens explaining everything he did. I assisted him handing over slides and fixer and cleaning up when he finished.

I ran all the way home barely containing my excitement. My mind was buzzing with possibility. The world was bigger and now I knew my place in it. When I got home I told my mother all about what had happened. She listened attentively not expressing any of the shock I’m sure she felt towards the other women leaving me like they had. When I finished my breathless story she said, “Well Elizabeth you can be a lab technician when you grow up.” My heart cracked. I was devastated. I never imagined being a lab technician. I wanted to be Dr. F. My little shoulders slumped a bit and life went back to being the same as the day before. I was resigned to not being a doctor.

Resignation for me is accepting there is nothing I can do and nowhere I can go. I’ve learned that this resignation is what comes over me when I am at the edge of my leadership skills. When what I’m faced with challenges my story about myself and I give up my more powerful story for the alternate disempowering story. In this case it was my mother’s totally different view of me that derailed me. At the time I did not realize resignation as a choice I was making. Where I went within myself happened so quickly – in the blink of an eye. But I was also frustrated by my resignation. It smothered the powerful woman who had things to say, discover and give. So I worked to learn about alternatives to my knee-jerk resignation. I’ve learned that I can use resignation as a signal to ask myself questions: What am I up against? What do I want to do? Where do I want to go? And who do I want to be?

We all have signals when we reach the edge of our leadership – a change in our energy, attitude or enthusiasm. We might have a sudden switch from belief to disbelief in ourselves or a situation or relationship. Or our emotions turn from positive to negative – what we once felt happy about we find ourselves depressed by. I’m sure you could come up with a list of your signals. What are they? How do you recognize when they happen? Is it in what you think? How you feel? Armed with this new view of yourself what do you want to do?

If you are so inclined please share what you discover. I would love to hear from you.

Change, Change, Change...

2006-05-04T15:31:00.000-04:00

I just got an email from a friend who lives in New Mexico. She is an amazing writer, full of rich description, rolling sentences and vivid imagery. Her essay was about many things – the magnificent land and sky permeating everything, the ancient Indian cultural tradition of direction, our bodies being grounded by and connected to the earth and its ever-changing flow.

She describes facing a particular mountain in Taos and how this view holds the memories of her first husband and their life together. She described the mountain changing day-to-day, moment-to-moment affected by the air, shifting ground, light and seasons. She likened this to her first husband and their life – the years rolling by, the love they shared, the birth of their children, the deterioration, the moving on. I do not do justice to the beauty of her prose. She is a magnificent writer, evoking deep feelings and imagery in her turn of phrase and flow of language.

Her piece got me thinking about change, about how change is happening all the time to everything around us including us. The problem is we humans are always trying to control things including change. We are over determined by our belief that we can wish things away or dismiss them out of existence. And since most change is subtle our eyes conspire to trick us. They project onto what we see what we want to believe, what we can “handle.” As a result we miss that change is inevitable and happening all the time on every level from the tinniest single cell to the entire universe.

In other words there is no way for us to stop change. This does not mean there’s nothing to do. On the contrary there is a lot we can do. Through fully embracing the inevitability of change we can figure out how we want to be with change. How we want to impact it. How we want to go with it. What we can control is not whether change happens but how it happens. We can effect change. We can consciously work along with change. We can participate in change.

Think of aging. It is inevitable but that does not mean there is nothing to do about how we age. We can be in better or worse physical shape. We can remain intellectually engaged or curl up on a hammock. We can carefully prepare for our future financially or we can spend our money as we make it. We can have cosmetic surgery or let the process happen naturally. No choice is right or wrong but each choice matters in terms of how we go through the process.

I’m sure you can think of thousands of other examples of change happening in your life. Take a look at your attitude about the change. Do you feel swept up in it? Unable to affect it? Now, think about any small or large way that you could approach the change differently. What if you did the change this new way? What would be the difference?

Write here and tell us about your findings. I can’t wait to hear from you!

A View of the "Soprano's"...

2006-04-25T13:57:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine recently interjected when I was telling someone where I was from, “Oh, she’s from the town where old Mafioso are put out to pasture”. I burst out laughing. This was certainly one way to characterize the small town in the mountains of eastern Pennsylvania where I grew up. In fact, as a small child my mother would whisper under her breathe – something she absolutely never did unless talking about the mafia – “That man over there’s the boss. Always be careful of him.” I never asked, “Careful of what?” I didn’t need to ask. I knew it meant he was dangerous, stay away from him. And I did. I never acknowledged him if I saw him at a wake or funeral, which is the main social event where you were likely to run into people you didn’t otherwise see around. Instead I'd avert my eyes so he wouldn't notice me.

Every once in a while some new person, always a man and usually a loner appeared in town. He was usually between 30 and 40, quiet, kept to him self. He would be dressed in clothes a little different than those the local men wore. He was a stylish hood in fitted shirts and flared dress slacks with pointy leather shoes during the week – this was the sixties after all. If you noticed him strolling Broad Street you’d see the men hanging on the corners acknowledge him as he passed not stopping to talk and the others never approaching him. My mother would explain that the heat was on in Brooklyn and he needed to get away for a while so he came to town. Again there was no need for an explanation. This guy had probably killed someone. The cops were looking for him and he had come here until the heat was off. These conversations between my mother and I were normal. They were as common as what the current fashion was or what we were going to eat for dinner.

I don’t watch much television but every Sunday night you’ll find me glued to the TV at 9:00 PM tuned into HBO. It’s time for the latest episode of the “Soprano’s”. I love it. I can finally be an insider. All the mystery surrounding these people who were my neighbors is laid open. I care about Tony and Carmella. I want to see what Tony’ll tell his therapist. And what she’ll say in response. I feel for Carmella and never tire of her get-ups and gold chains. The back room of the “Bada Bing” fondly reminds me of the pool hall where my father gambled away our house. (After my father died I had the nerve to call the Mafioso who ran the place asking if he wanted to contribute to burial costs since he had all my father’s money!)

I am not offended that this is the characterization of Italian-Americans like others complain. Instead I feel that for the first time I can actually be an insider on the unfolding drama of the people who live this life. Most of the world thinks the “Soprano’s” is a made up, for the TV world but it is not. It is real. This is one aspect of Italian-American working class life. It happens. People live this way. I am glad the world gets a chance to see it, hear it and react to it. I wish my mother were alive. I’m sure we would be discussing it every Monday morning – just like we used to discuss how many bodies had come into the funereal homes across the alley the night before – because as average Italian-Americans who were not privy to the inside machinations of the Mafia we would be as interested as all the other Americans tuning in each week.

Posting Anonymously Here...

2006-04-20T13:12:00.000-04:00

Several people have sent me responses to my blog via e-mail. They are not used to blogging and so they are gun-shy about signing up to post. I anticipated this so when I set up my preferences I allowed for anonymous posting.
Scroll down to the bottom of the post you are interested in and click the comments button. When the window opens the comments already posted will appear on the right. On the left will be the box where you can write your comments. Under this box are choices for who you are writing as. This is where you can choose the anonymous button.
So please don't hesitate to read what's here and post your thoughts and responses. I want to hear them!

We Are What We Eat...

2006-04-15T05:49:00.000-04:00

It is not quite dawn and I am wide-awake. I'm bordering on being negative. You know what I mean - piling on all kinds of nasty self-talk that only results in falling into a deep, dark hole which will take hours, days or weeks to wrench myself out of. I would like to blame this happening to me on the full moon. Full moons do move the tides and they have always affected me. But if I were honest - and I want to be honest here - then I would admit that after everyone went to sleep last night I tore into a small package of Easter Peeps. I am not allowed to eat Easter Peeps because they cause me to go into an emotional tailspin. If I were not fighting for my sanity right now I might think this is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Problem is it is not the least bit funny. I have had trouble sleeping all night. My stomach is blotted. My mouth feels like it is lined with week-old fireplace ashes.
I have Celiacs Disease. I did read the package last night before I gorged myself. There didn't seem to be any problem with the ingredients. Since I've been diagnosed with CD I have maintained a gluten-free diet. I am very good about this. I have never cheated. I have had times when gluten got by me, like when I took generic Claritin. When I woke up one morning so depressed I felt like killing myself though my life was great I began questioning what else could be causing such feelings. Those tiny bits of gluten in just two pills over two days had put me over the edge.
My experience with CD has made me so aware of what I eat or take into my body. What we put into our bodies through our mouths has a profound impact on us. Did you know that the gastrointestinal system is our only internal organ with direct contact with the outside world? And did you know that food's soul purpose is to fuel our body?
Even though food is wonderful and at times it is enjoyment, reward, a treat, a luxury it's basic purpose is to keep our living, breathing body alive, functioning and healthy. And when we give food even a small degree of attention from this perspective we can improve our health, our brain clarity, our energy level and our emotions. Tomorrow I will be drinking lots of water to flush out those Peeps!
In the meantime you can do some experimenting with the impact food has on you. For two weeks create a food journal - write down what you eat. Then an hour later take a deep breath and pay attention to how your body feels physically and emotionally. Write these findings down. After two weeks go over your journal and see what you've learned. Let me know how it goes.
Remember - You Are What You Eat!

Mantra...

2006-04-13T21:03:00.000-04:00

I have been listening to "Mantra: Sacred Words of Power" as I commute the twenty-five miles each way to my downtown Philadelphia office. I am so excited to be learning something new. After listening for a while I do emerge from the car feeling like I'm in an altered state. I am learning that this is because the mantras have a vibrational, energetic effect. They are not processed like our English language, which is steeped in words that mean particular things that are processed in our minds. Mantras are ancient Sanskrit sounds. According to Thomas Ashley-Ferrand sound represents the highest spiritual state we can achieve.
I am fascinated by the primacy of sound. I am so busy most of the time, usually running from one thing to another. My mind is sharp and I love using it. It serves me well with my clients where I can share insights, help them see in a new way and push their learning. But I can also end up tired, spent and in deep need of rejuvenation. This is one of the reasons I love knitting. When I knit I fall into the stitches. One after the other I follow the pattern and stitch-by-stitch I create beautiful clothing and accessories. Knitting does require some thinking sometimes, like when I have to figure out a new stitch or complex pattern but eventually there is a rhythm to the knitting that is similar to mantra. Mantra has a cadence, a rhythm. I cannot think it. I cannot explain it. I just know that I am deeply affected by it in a profound way.
And this effect makes me think about how I affect people with my sounds. And how others affect me with their sounds. We all know how horrible a scratch on a chalkboard effects us. And how about the chirping of all the springtime birds? Or a lullaby? So I wonder what we can do in our meetings, with our families, at work or play to attend to our sound, our voice, our annunciation, volume and the words we choose to use. If this mantra stuff actually works and I believe it does then all the sound of the world matters. And we can decide how we want to contribute to the sounds of the world - either positively or negatively.
What do you think about sound? Which sounds do you like? Which do you hate? How could you change your sounds in some small or large way? Tell me about it. I am interested in what you have to say.

Supporting Young Leaders

2006-04-12T23:29:00.000-04:00

My girlfriend Susan called me late Monday night. She had an extra ticket to see Paul Rusesabagina at the Free Library of Philadelphia on Tuesday night. Mr. Rusesabagina is the former manager of the Hotel Des Mille Collines in Kigali, Rwanda. It is where he housed over 1200 refugees during the Rwandan genocide of 1994 protecting them all from the brutal slaughter happening outside. In just 100 days 800,000 Rwandans were killed mostly with machetes while the international community turned a deaf ear. His is the story told in the movie Hotel Rwanda. I was excited at the prospect of hearing him speak directly about his experience.
The first thing I do when I walk into a room is access who's there and what the environment's pulse is. There was a full house of about 1000 people. There were several hundred other people viewing the talk via closed circuit feed. Our group was mixed black and white with quite a few young people. Conversations about politics, the movie and Rwanda could be overheard. Everyone was excited and anticipatory.
I settled in and pulled out my knitting. I'm making a beautiful cream-colored ribbon, wide necked, open weave top. I love it - but I digress. When I looked up I could barely see around the big puffy hair of the young African American teenage girl sitting in front of me. She was wedged between several African American young men. An older -– maybe 35 years old -– white woman sat at the end of the row. This woman was clearly their chaperone.
An older African American man came on stage before long to introduce Mr. Rusesabagina. The man said he was a board member of the Library. When he began reading the introduction it was as if he was reading it for the first time. To add insult to injury he stammered over Rusesabagina settling on, "My friend Paul,"” who he had obviously only met that night. It was sloppy and a bit embarrassing.
Paul Rusesabagina spoke for about an hour. It was not a great talk, after all he is not a public speaker or politician but it was a passionate talk filled with devastating imagery that is almost unimaginable to us. We can't imagine the level of death, mutilation and violence that a country no bigger than the state of Vermont endured. Once he finished an older white man came out on the stage to moderate the question and answer portion of the evening.
I noticed that the young woman with the puffy hair began to write on her program cover. In the meantime the moderator began to call on this person and that person. They were mostly in the reserved section where series seat holders were seated. And they were disproportionately white even though there were plenty of black arms up in the air. The woman with the young girl asked her what she was writing. She handed over her program. The woman nodded and wrote something. Next time the moderator asked for questions the puffy haired girl timidly raised her hand. She was not called on.
I kept trying to get her eye. I wanted to smile at her and encourage her. The young men next to her were sinking a little lower in their chairs. There was an energy beginning to emanate from our two rows that made them shy. Over and over the moderator asked for questions and over and over he sent the mike to white people. I got her eye and mouthed, "next time just stand up."” She smiled and got a little mischievous sparkle in her eyes. The next time the moderator asked for questions she raised her hand boldly but remained seated. He passed her over for a middle aged black woman in a suit.
I knew time was running out. I began asking myself what could I do to help her. It had to be something that would not embarrass her. Something that would give her the extra support she needed. The moderator said they would take one more question. Once again she raised her hand but she just couldn't stand up. So I leaped to my feet. The moderator had settled on someone else but I called out, "over here, back here."” Most of the audience turned to look back at us. I looked at the young woman. The moderator said, Â“yes, back there,Â” directing the person with the mike in our direction. I said to the young woman, "go ahead, it's your turn." She stood up, took the mike and asked, "What made you make the movie? How did you decide to do it?"
A hush seemed to fall over the audience. Mr. Rusesabagina spoke directly to her. In an intimate and beautiful way he told her how many people came to him wanting to produce his story. He said HBO was too small an audience so he refused. It was a story the whole world had to hear. He said young people had to hear it. She remained standing the whole time. Then he thanked all of us for coming and the audience broke out in a standing ovation.
I filed out of the crowded auditorium and into the hall. The puffy haired young woman was with her friends smiling and talking. She noticed me and came rushing over. We put our arms around each other. I said, "You had to ask your question."” She smiled and said, "thanks." We spent another moment and then parted blending into the crowd.
Since then I keep thinking about how to promote emerging leadership. That young woman was a young leader. She needed support in order to lead. She needed help. She didn't know what kind of support or help. But she was able to make use of it when it was presented to her. Take some time to notice the young leaders around you. Ask yourself what you could do to help them. Then get out of the way and let them fly!

Launch of WeCoachU...

2006-04-11T11:27:00.000-04:00

I have wanted a blog for a long time and I'm excited to finally be here with all the rest of you all over the world.

I want you to ask me questions about issues going on for you that you would like to explore with a coach...

I have a unique slant on life that I'm anxious to share. It is not the right slant, simply my slant. It is one that I have cultivated over many years of working with people to grow the kind of life that fulfills them in ways they never imagined.

I want more and more people to have access to my gifts.

I also want a forum where I can explore emerging thoughts, resources and create community.

So let's see what we can create together...